Dr. Frankenstein


One might as well call me Dr. Frankenstein, for my wonderful creations have always consisted of monsters. More than film and more than literature, I have reached beyond all scientific leaps and bounds due to sciolistic teachings. Let me explain:

Superficial ways to cope with one’s self has hardened me. It is easy to recognize my easy and soft innards but I must at least attempt to protect the exoteric euphemisms I live by, thus I create monsters. Here’s how you create a monster:

Step 1 – Search in lorn locations. You will never find monsters in public areas. They only reveal themselves in private. Of course, you must be selective. You don’t just pick all of them. You must pick one of utmost probity.

Note: Monsters do not appear under their stereotypes. They always first appear as small, forgotten trolls under bridges.

Step 2 – Raise them. Bring them back to your laboratory. Establish yourself above it and acknowledge that you are indeed the nomenclature in this relationship. It may not take on a name or ego unless it’s earned it. It is merely “It”.

Step 3 – Challenge It. Once It has been trained, put it in the arena of life. Our goal is to help the creature aspire up the ranks until It reaches the power of fully blown monster. The world needs to see a true force of splenetic ego rise above it’s challenges. If this does not happen, your monster will be eaten alive by other, bigger, and better monsters. This means you must give it easy competitions at first and then encourage it to rise above the rest.

Step 4 – Politics. Not every fight can be won by the monster. There are things you will have to do in the shadows. Begin by shmoozing. Make appearances. Do not allow anyone to abrogate anything you say. Be the one who does the vetoing. Make bribes but not with money – you’re going to be impecunious most likely. There are other ways to fancy those in power. Keep your rearguard up in the face of banter. If you do fail in a small task, make up for it by accomplishing a task that is doubly more difficult. Smile. Win.

Step 5 – Notoriety. Once your creature has risen up the ranks, it may ask you what it’s ever-so-expected name shall be. It may have desired names of it’s own choice but you may not allow self-identity for you are the nomenclature. Instead, tell it to listen  to it’s following and from there it will realize it’s name. A Promethean sense of foison will overwhelm it with joy and suddenly it’ll become one when it fully embraces such fame and power.

And now I sit in my own private laboratory; such a fine training ground full of memories and glory. Unfortunately, it is all short lived as my monster has left. It is not the first monster to have departed.

I have had amazing monsters rise up the ranks. They have done it naturally with little to no assistance. The two things a monster needs in order to go beyond it’s trainer is a charismatic attitude and a good sense of politics. Many monsters have these traits in stronger ways than I have ever acquired. You cannot compare our personalities anymore. I realize now the intentions behind them are so different that they cause crossover in all the wrong places. It gets to the point where I become a ladder; they use me to climb up to the top and never look down to return the favor. This is the lesson I was taught in utter sciolism.

Fun fact: What are the two most relatable emotions? Answer = Love and Hate.

Why? They are the most passionate emotions. Even though they resonate on opposite sides of the spectrum, they remain to be the most passionate yet focused as they creep in on the external forces that make us whole.

So how do I feel about my monsters? I hate them… until I see myself a monster too.








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