The Bittersweet Yearning


Sometimes I walk in an ever-spinning spectrum of ocean with creatures within that happily prey on the weak.

The spectrum itself contains a platform just for me – one that’s as harsh and as cruel as the beasts in the sea.

But I keep trekking on, searching unconditionally as I am told constantly to hate and fear so much that my mind consumes.

Perhaps I’m the beast? Perhaps I’m the arbiter? Perhaps I’m the catalyst? Who cares. I’m me.

I’ve come to terms with this reality, in which has been laid for me; this uncontrollable balance that consoles my every step.

But still, I walk down this cruelly construed platform, because I’m confident that given time, my enemies will abscond to fabricated fantasies.

And I shall remain here in this reality that I take command of it, as I am purely recusant in my own stubborn way.

I lionize my ego amongst all else and couldn’t be more proud to learn the lessons that I learn.

But still, despite all of this, my thickened skin can get circumvented by sharpened daggers and haunt me in my dreams and wind my muscles into a frenzy.

In my dreams, I stand spinous and horrified, getting into brawls that are unspeakable.

My family always feared my dark side. It consumes me and spreads like an octopus’s ink that dominates the fish tank that shields me.

Fear not, though, for I am the bird of the Hermes, eating my wings to make me tame.

In moments of tranquility, I stand amongst tall grasses and light-hearted breezes. All tensions within release and the earth consumes them and spreads life all around.

Transpicuous glass is my most favored of truthful possessions, begging me to defenestrate such objects as my inner turmoil; the uncontrollable balance.

Back and forth, back and forth – like a machine I correct and balance such conflicts.

So I’m fine… and I really can handle a companion now. I’ve moved on from older skins and now wear something that fills the gaps of yours and co-dominantly fills my gaps.

I’m ready. But you’re taken – The bitter sweet yearning that puts me to sleep tonight.

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