Unsatisfied Finish

You walk down a flat barren land and come across a long tin barn. Certainly not a typical barn. A barn that has been abandoned and isolated for years. It sticks out like a soar thumb so much that you can’t help but appreciate the confidence it has by being so unique. You walk in. How could you not?

Upon entering, the ground is made of weathered, cracked cement where vegetation screams for it’s existence to be seen by uprooting itself from the inner depths of the Earth. It only shows how lack of care sometimes becomes its own horrifying masterpiece. How perfect of a place for you.

It’s a hollow place. So cold. So quiet. So simple. You can’t bare to take another step because of how quiet it is. It’s taboo to tarnish that trait. How sumptuous of a mistake it would be to take a crackling, sadistic step. Don’t break the silence. Appreciate it. Become one with it. Drive yourself insane with it. That hollow feeling. A feeling you haven’t felt in ages. The silence is innocuous, so why not let it consume you?

You’re too busy remaining the cockalorum in you are, though – strutting yourself like the wowser you are. Like you’re actually meant to be something in a place that isn’t welcoming to plans and optimism. It’s time to break in to instinct and become one with this pessimistic nature because God knows that humans are the dumbest animal. Turning their needs into greeds and lives into power-driven drones.

How perfect you are to be here in this empty shell of a ghost. Just stop. Interpret the message of the silence. It says… BANG!

Something broke the unescapable anomaly of silence. Just like the titanic, the unbreakable becomes razed. Your ears perk up as the cold metal walls shutter in shock, the way an old man wakes up to the day he knows he will die. How cruel of a trick. What killed that oh so welcomed messenger?

Infuriated, you turn only to see the one thing that gnaws at you. She stares at you stoic-like. How hateful you feel towards that… beautiful… undeniable… sorely untouched past of yours.

There she sits, at her piano – A grand piano, planted by itself in the belly of the cracked, shrub infested floors. Now that she has your attention, she slowly turns her head towards the ivory keys, wide eyed, elegantly lifts a hand and rests her pointer on the highest pitch the instrument could construe.

Everything is still, though. Event time, the most powerful force in the universe, is frozen because it was prepared for that moment. Now that the silence was gone, fate would have its way and sway you to the abyss of its mystery. Like a fly caught in a web, you will not escape it. You are the pawn, and she is the queen.

Never ending, ever so terrifying, the tune crescendos and crescendos till…

 

 

 

 

 

 

Critical Studies

photo

There are two types of people in this world:

Those who say, “Don’t blame yourself. There was nothing you could have done differently about X,” and those who say, “You idiot! Of course X would happen.”

I tend to often wonder about X, and in the process, divert to the quodlibet of those two types of people; Those who think you are not blame yourself for X, and those who attitudinize themselves to be too wise to even invest their emotions into X.

What do these two types of personalities mean?

The Story Solution: 23 Actions All Great Heroes Must Take by Eric Edson is a instructional screenplay guide on how to successfully put together an award winning script that is worth your time and effort – a book, that for me, makes a real difference in the pessimistic nature of reality. In it, Edson explains how in order to create a dynamic hero (or character in general) you create a shield. Yes, every person in every good movie has a shield just like real life. Essentially, the steps are as follows: Step 1 – Create a character with a past and personality. Step 2 – Develop an end goal that he or she needs. Step 3 – Create THE reason that stops him or her from accomplishing that goal. I believe that this is an underlying motif that dominates many facets of our lives and in the end will hopefully lead me to “experience a sense of completion as … [I] lay down [my] shield of emotional self-protection and achieve emotional freedom, allowing [me] to connect with others again on a personal level; a life process we all go through, when healing old wounds.” That all of us have an end goal that defines us, but there will always be that shield, stepping in our way, that adds inner conflict to every action we take.

More often than not, we ask ourselves what our purpose is in life when really the question that should be asked is how to pierce that shield.

But this shield does define whether or not you side with the, “Don’t blame yourself. There was nothing you could have done differently about X,” or the, “You idiot! Of course X would happen,” response.

I could ramble about what types of shields develop those types of responses but I don’t think it is worth anyones’ time to hear my naive interpretations when I’ve never picked up a psychology book on the subject. These interpretations would merely be fueled by the simple things I’ve picked up via my habit to read into things. It wouldn’t do you nor this blog justice, so I’ll skip ahead.

There are three types of people in this world:

Those who say, “Don’t blame yourself. There was nothing you could have done differently about X,” those who say, “You idiot! Of course X would happen,” and lastly, those who say, “X created your shield and you should be grateful for that. Now, just like wine, your character becomes better defined through time thus you blossom to what you are now. Embrace the pains. Become a masochist if you need to! For when you reach Y, you shall find inner peace and become Z.”

 

 

Threads

redyarn

I am a ball of yarn

So tangled upon dismay

Yet so prideful in it’s shaping

 

I role like no other I know

And that’s my greatest accomplishment yet

Yes, I may just be a ball of yarn

But it is true, I have thousands of stories:

 

One time, at Yarn camp

Me and another ball of yarn

Whom had the longest threads of yarn down her back

Happened to sew the same patterns

We were best friends who weaved the greatest art

But we were too scared to do anything more

Our threads had not been discovered yet

 

A year later, we were reunited

It was another truly glorious summer

The sun stayed bright

The bees never stung

The horses we rode went faster than ever

Despite the change that comes with a golden age

Our threads were never able to connect

Still we were scared but only of ourselves

 

At the two year anniversary of our weaveship

Summer began and we were somehow changed

The other ball of yarn was much more mature and beautiful than ever

With threads that were unforgiving and steadfast to frontiers

There was no need to jink around our insecurities

We knew it was time

 

Threads sprung open, the truth was out

This game of steganography was done

Finally, we were free to explore

And truly our rolling selves went on adventures in weeks

That would take explorers months to conclude

We were unstoppable

Except the force of time had other plans…

 

With conclusion to that momentous summer

It was time to go

But she couldn’t just go!

You see, our adventure wasn’t just to break the bond

That concealed our threads

It was to knit together something that had never been made before

 

Yet sadly, this was not the case

Time had a different plan

And even though it just couldn’t be

Will rolled us to opposite directions

 

 

Now we look back, even to this day

And when we do, we see that one thread still remains

I could choose to roll in place and retract that one thread to its rightful place

Within the very depths of the core that makes me one

The very place that could use that thread in order to be rational, intelligent,

And powerful all the same

But why do that when you could share such power with someone else?

 

So my thread still remains

All the way in the depths of Yarn camp

Where the summers stay glorious

With the sun so bright

And the innocuous bees so happy,

The horses so fast

My thread is for her

All she would have to do is pull

And then, just then…